It is natural to feel nervous when called to testify in your divorce or paternity case. No one likes sitting in the witness chair.
However, preparation can reduce fear and improve clarity. I have assembled these fundamental tips to help you know what to expect. They can also reduce the fear of the unknown.
How To Be The Best Witness in Divorce or Paternity Trials begins with calm preparation. It also involves giving clear answers and maintaining an honest demeanor. These tips can help your testimony go smoother. Additionally, following these tips might help you get on and off the witness stand a little faster. So, let’s get started!
Listen to The Question
This is much harder than it sounds.
The first thing you should do is carefully listen to each question. Make sure you fully understand the question before you answer. If you don’t understand the question, say you don’t understand. Then, ask the attorney to repeat or rephrase the question. Never answer a question that you do not understand.
There is nothing wrong with asking that a question be repeated or rephrased. However, if you do it too often, it may look evasive. If you don’t understand, say so. Also, don’t overdo it. Using this as a stall technique will let the judge quickly sniff that out.
Answer Only The Question Asked
I like to do an exercise with people when preparing for a hearing. Then I will ask:
Could you tell me the time?
Most people will say, \”Yes, it’s 9:30.\”
However, that wasn’t the question. The question was, “Do you know the time?” Not “What time is it?” See the difference. The proper answer is either yes or no.
Note the difference between hearing and listening to the question.
Additionally, if the question is ‘Do you know the time?’, do not tell the time or explain clock-building.
Simply answer the question that was asked.
Moreover, volunteering information you were not asked may reveal something the other side doesn’t know.
This can snowball into more questions, keeping you on the witness stand longer than necessary.
Take a Second.
Take a second to think before speaking.
Your parents probably said this at some point during your childhood.
The same advice applies in court.
You will notice after answering a few questions that there is a natural rhythm.
It’s hard to describe.
You will be able to feel it while you are on the stand.
Try to stay in that rhythm.
Take a second to ensure you understand the question, but avoid overdoing it. However, there is a fine line between a brief pause and delaying your answer. If someone thinks you overthink before replying, they may think you are making up a bogus answer. That assumption may be inaccurate, but it can still look that way. Again, we can practice this before the hearing if you want more help.
If You Don’t Know The Answer, Say So!
A statement such as ‘I don’t know’ can be acceptable.
However, this is true only if you genuinely do not know the answer.
Never Guess
One of the most common things you will see is people starting to answer before the attorney finishes asking.
Additionally, the reason is that the witness is guessing or assuming what they think the attorney is asking.
Don’t guess!
Then wait for the attorney to ask the question, listen to the question, and then answer the question asked.
Don’t answer what you think the attorney is trying to ask.
Answer what was actually asked.
Look The Part
Court is serious business.
The way you present yourself makes a difference.
Additionally, if you show up looking like you are headed to the beach, it will impact your case.
Show that you take it seriously and dress professionally.
You don’t need to buy a suit if you don’t already own one.
However, wear a shirt and tie.
Throw on a jacket, and that’s even better.
Don’t Commit To Anything Unless You Are Positive
Try to avoid saying this like “always” and “never” unless you are 100% positive about your answer. Additionally, an attorney is not going to ask you a question unless they already know the answer. So, the attorney is asking the question for a reason. They want to see how you are going to answer or they are trying to get a reaction.
Generally, unless you are positive about dates, it is acceptable to say approximately when.
Additionally, for other questions, its better to say ‘to the best of my recollection’. It is preferable to say ‘that’s all I can remember at this moment’ than to claim ‘That never happened’.
However, you should say you are absolutely positive only when you are.
Additionally, once you commit to a specific answer, if you are wrong, your credibility may be attacked. A common question might be, “Have you ever told a lie?” I don’t know anyone who can honestly say no. However, some people will say no. Almost always, what follows is a question. For example, “So, are you as sure about this answer as you are about the rest of your testimony?”
Tell The Truth, The Whole Truth, And Nothing But The Truth
There is a saying: the cover-up is worse than the crime. Indeed, tell the truth. Moreover, avoid playing semantics. Do not outsmart the other attorney or game the system. The court will respect a truthful answer. Even if it is embarrassing or hard to admit.
When you know you messed up, you should own it.
Moreover, accept responsibility rather than trying to BS the Judge.
It is far more damaging than simply saying, ‘I screwed up’.
Do Not Make It Harder Than It Needs to Be
Additionally, I’m going to say this once more: it’s that important.
One common mistake is answering before the attorney finishes asking.
Moreover, you may guess wrong and answer a different question.
Besides looking silly, you will be making your testimony harder than it needs to be.
Finally, do it too many times and the Judge will probably say something.
Don’t make it harder than it needs to be.
If you do everything else on this list, you can avoid this problem. Additionally, all you have to do is:
- Listen to the question.
- Answer only the question asked
- Take your time.
- If you don’t know, say so.
- Never guess.
- Don’t commit unless you are positive
- Look the part
- Always tell the truth.
- Don’t make it harder than it needs to be.
Conclusion
I won’t sugarcoat this: You will be nervous, especially if you have never had to testify before. Testifying will not be fun and will not be something you will want to do again anytime soon. This is normal. I don’t know that it’s even possible to ever be completely prepared because there can always be surprises. Control the things that you can control and prepare the best you can. Ask questions. Plan in advance for all the known issues and know how you will answer. Knowing what to expect will serve to reduce the stress of the unknown.
These tips, or any suggestions contained in any of my posts, are NOT a substitute for having a good attorney represent you. Always hire an attorney, there are no exceptions.
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